Jacob Zuma has lost his machine gun, and he sings about it at every opportunity. Until now you may have only caught snippets of the song "Umshini Wami" on the news, and felt that you were missing out on a crucial part of history by not knowing this fine composition.

Luckily, I've managed to trace down the words and an MP3 of Umshini Wami, so you can sing along when they incorporate it into our national anthem next year! It goes a little something like this:

Umshini wami mshini wami
khawuleth’umshini wami
Umshini wami mshini wami,
khawuleth’umshini wami
Umshini wami mshini wami,
khawuleth’umshini wami
khawuleth’umshini wami
Wen’uyang’ibambezela
umshini wami, khawuleth’umshini wami

My machine my machine
Please bring my machine
My machine my machine
Please bring my machine
My machine my machine
Please bring my machine
Please bring my machine
You’re pulling me back
My machine, Please bring my machine

Thanks to South Africa Logue for that. It's dead simple, and only contains 8 unique words in the entire song. So it's perfect for the next time you're wasted and doing karaoke at Flagons 'n Dragons. It will be a hit! Everyone can do the drunken Msholozi shuffle with you.

Here's an MP3 for download, it's a adaption of Umshini by Solly Moholo. This version is a little different, and in fact to the best of my knowledge he's singing khawuleth’umshini wami we Thabo, obviously a reference to Thabo Mbeki. Naughty naughty Solly, this is Zuma's song, not Thabo's.

Click here for MP3, 450kb (use "Right-click" - "Save Target As...").

Use it as your ringtone. Practice in the shower. Play it for your colleagues!

Most of all, help Zuma find his machine gun.