Why is it that we insist on following trends when it comes to ordering shooters at the bar? I'm fairly sure it's not a phenomenon unique to Durban, but it certainly affects us all when a round of the 'in' shooter costs more than a monthly bond repayment.

Think back with me for a second and remember the most recent trends. A while back there was the IRA Car Bomb which was made popular by the Irish pubs, as it contained Guiness and Cape Velvet.

Then, at some point Tequila became a massive hit, and everywhere you went there were old friends offering you round-apon-round of this vile golden liquid, while slurring words and trying to act as immune as possible to it's effects.

Because heaven forbid you protest the quality of Jose Cuervo (a poor-ish tequila by international standards), or request a salt cellar and lemon in front of your mates! Serious man-points are deductible for even mentioning the words. You'll get scoffed at if you show just the slightest grimace after shooting it back, and it's severely frowned apon to chase the shot with a sip of beer. These rules are strictly enforced in many circles. It ain't pretty.

At some point, quite recently, the trend has swung once again and the new 'in' shooter is the Jagerbomb. Quite simply, it's a combination of the two most expensive drinks that are generally available from clubs and bars, Red Bull and Jagermeister. It not uncommon to pay R100 for four of these devilish little guys, and while I admit they are tasty, I find it absolutely diabolical that this trend is taking hold and literally raping our wallets every time we hit the town.

How can anyone afford to buy rounds of these things? And do you mean to tell me it's pure coincidence that this new trendy shooter just happens to be the most expensive damn thing on the menu? Mama didn't raise no fool.

The pattern became clear when I cast my mind back to a time when tequila sales were booming, and the one clear memory I have (most are pretty blurry) is that there was going to be a worldwide shortage of the stuff, and we should all drink as much as bloody possible, despite any reservations about the taste or quality of the drink. People were stocking up and knocking it back by the case; but now looking back it does seem like a rather suspicious little rumour, one that could conceivably have been started by the tequila companies themselves in order to boost sales.

And now the Jagerbomb. At R100 for four (if you're sharing the Red Bull, that is). With the strong presence of Red Bull's marketing in Durban, I would not be surprised to find out that they themselves have orchestrated this little coup in order to bleed us dry. It wouldn't be hard for those reps – all they'd have to do is make a little effort to get out and talk to the barmen at the top Durban venues. A couple of favours later and the next thing every bloody barman in the city is encouraging people to try this amazing new drink.

Conspiracy? You better believe it. Red Bull are cunning bastards.

Well, I am sick of paying out my arse for a round of shooters, and I propose we start our own drink, something with a bit of local flavour and KZN goodness to keep down the costs. Something that'll put us a league ahead of the other plebs, something with style and a sense of sophistication, not uptight, but good to share with your friends when you're having a great time.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you now the recipe for “The Burrowing Cane Rat”:

Drop one shot of cheap cane spirits (produced on the very soil we walk on), into a half-full mug of iJuba. Race it down before the two mix, and smile broadly in satisfaction as you extend your middle finger out to 'the man'.

Rinse and repeat.