People sometimes ask me how I always manage to be perky and energetic on the mornings following a big party or night out. I always tell them that I am the chosen one with a liver of steel, and they should not question my gifts! The reality is, of course, that I cheat certain death by following the hangover commandments, and drinking this magic elixir which can turn even the worst babelaas into a mildly annoying dry mouth.

It's called Vita Plus, and it's a kind of generic vitamin tonic which is available from Checkers and probably a few chemists or other supermarkets. It is undeniably the best hangover cure I've ever found, but the secret is in the usage.

Alcohol depletes your vitamins, particularly the B-complex, and especially B6 and B12 which are necessary for maintaining a clear head. By replenishing these at just the right time, you effectively eliminate one of the major causes of a hangover.

The perfect time to take one is just before you go to bed, not before you go out as some have suggested. Newbies often make the fatal mistake of popping a Vita Plus before a big night, after which they find themselves with Superhero-like drinking stamina and boundless thirst for more. This results in much larger quantities of alcohol being consumed, and the hours of torment the next day are almost inevitable.

No no, the best time is right before your sorry ass crawls under the covers after a hectic night of painting the town. Toss one effervescent tablet into a 500ml beer mug of water, and down the whole lot as quick as possible. Refill the mug with water (for midnight dry mouth), and relax into bed knowing that your day will not be ruined by the gloom and doom of a crushing hangover. Taking one the next morning instead of before bed is okay too, but it's recommended to begin the healing process as soon as you hit that pillow, otherwise it's that much harder to even get out of bed at all.

I'm not the first person to have discovered this, and in Australia the popular Berocca (which is basically the equivalent of a Vita Plus, just more expensive) has been sold as a hangover cure. Realising the market in South Africa was wide open, a professor from Wits has launched a liquid multivitamin known as Springbac, which is sold at some bars and clubs. It's quite expensive and basically contains the same secret, loads of vitamins, minerals and carbohydrates to sort you out. I promise you these antidotes work so well that after a few weekends you won't know how you survived without them.

You should beware of swapping brands, do not under any circumstances take a vitamin with an artificial stimulant such as caffeine or ginseng! This stuff will cause you interrupted sleep and far worse symptoms than if you'd just gone without it. Take heed! Natural vitamins and anti-oxidants only.

I'm working backwards now, so bear with me. Before you even get home, make a quick stop over at Bimbo's at the Engen on Windermere Road, for a breakfast in pita. This place is world famous for taking care of drunken munchies 24/7, and rightly so: for a meager amount you get two eggs, bacon, cheese and a fried tomato all lovingly enclosed in a fresh pita bread. It's the perfect amount of grease, protein and carbs to fill the stomach and stop the further absorption of alcohol into the bloodstream. I would recommend a roti from Johnny's as a substitute, but it lacks the protein of the breakfast in pita so it's second place I'm afraid.

The next morning, an ice cold coke from a can, or “red ambulance” as I like to call it, will sort out any sugar deficiency and put you back on the straight and narrow.

The only thing that's difficult to bust is the headache, which is caused by your brain becoming dehydrated and shrinking away from your skull. Ouch. Bet you'll never drink again after hearing that!

Oh yes you will.

And when you do, nothing beats a good aspirin for sorting out the headache. Try stay away from paracetamol, which is found in Panado; as it is bad for your liver and this compounds with the alcohol. Enjoy these tips and stay safe! Remember to always dilute your tequilas with a few beers, and no matter how manly you are feeling, it's never okay to drink Stroh Rum. Ever.