LoserFor a while now I've been tuning into CNBC on DSTV around midnight, every weeknight, to watch the Jay Leno show and Late Night with Conan O'Brian. Earlier, I'd had been talking to Presuming Ed* about both comedians. He insisted that Leno, "Fucks him off". Needless to say, he's not a Leno fan. Lets just say that Presuming Ed* isn't the sharpest tool in the shed though and, more often than not, whatever he says is instantly dismissed as puerile and 'stoopid'. I defended Leno as a really funny guy and a liberal that's not afraid to speak his mind. That was until I realised that Presuming Ed*, for once, was right. Leno's a hack.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this, I mean I'm sure nobody really, really cares, but Leno's stand-up material on this particular night was so bad that it actually pissed me off and made me shout at my TV. I love offensive humour as long as it's insightful, witty and funny. You've got to be clever to pull it off, not just jumping on the band wagon. Tonight, Leno was so bad that his routine needed a handful of mothballs to cover up all the holes. So, I thought that writing this might go someway towards my ventilation. I'm not some kind of stand up comedy watchdog or anything, just a Presuming Ed* sympathiser. Everyone treats Ed* like an idiot, but there is some grey matter up there after all it seems. Leno opened the show with a stale and recycled Michael Jackson joke and it was all, unbelievably, downhill from there. After his Jackson joke he cracked a George Bush joke, now I'm not a fan of Bush either, but if you're going to do a Bush joke these days it HAS to be funny. You can't just repeat other people's George Bush one liners and expect to get away with it, surely?

To Leno George Bush is like a man not being able to stop and ask directions while he's driving or the shopping trolley with the one bad wheel. It's lazy comedy. After the Bush joke Leno stretched his comedic skills as far as a joke about British people with bad teeth. Incidentally, Leno's guest on the night was English actor Colin Firth, who's teeth looked pretty good to me.

Isn't Leno supposed to be some kind of liberal Democrat or something. not a pedlar of archaic, ignorant stereotypes and Christmas cracker jokes that you've heard a million times before? After the tooth joke came another Leno joke about Brokeback Mountain. Leno even went as far as to have a model horse in studio with a pink saddle and a hairdryer. That's not funny, Leno mocks George Bush for his homophobic views then milks a tasteless and fashionable homophobic joke just because he's sure it will get a few laughs. Leno even said that the theme song for Brokeback Mountain is I Wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner.

After this joke Leno went with another new staple joke for the unimaginative comedian, the Indian computer tech in New Delhi. The joke wasn't even funny though. In reality it was a roomful of 'liberal' Americans laughing at a foreigner's funny accent. What a funny accent he has, he must be so dumb? That's not comedy. Presuming Ed* was right and now Leno Fucks me off too. That's why I wrote this and from now on I'll tune in a bit later and just watch Conan. Ventilation finished, thanks for your indulgence.